Child Development Abandoned Version
by Ffordesoon
Summary: My first story, "Child Development," has been permanently abandoned.  I present this solely as a curiosity for interested parties.  It will not be picked up again.  Sorry.
1. The Status Quo

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I seek to make any profit from this work. Kim Possible is owned by the Walt Disney Co., and was created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle.

Any other works (songs, books, films, comics, other fanfics, etc.) or real people (celebrities, world leaders, historical figures, serial killers, actuaries, etc.) referenced in this fic are TM and Copyright their respective owners and/or their respective selves. Again, I make no profit whatsoever from this work or anything related to it. Please do not sue. I am but a lowly stripling. Again, NO PROFIT. NONE.

Any original characters who may or may not appear in this fic were wholly fabricated by me, and are owned by me. If you wish to use them in your own work (Ha! Fat chance), I have absolutely zero problem with that as long as you accede credit regarding their parentage to me; a link to the resultant work would also be appreciated.

Please review, especially if it's crap. Detailed reviews, please. Saying "ZOMG, that was so lame!1!111!" may be technically legal, but it doesn't actually have any effect beyond making me want to punch you in the face; reviews which actually tell me what the hell I did wrong insure your brain against further violation by whatever aspect of my writing you found utterly noxious. I will not get better unless you tell me WHY I suck, is what I am saying. And no, I will not stop writing.

Finally, this will be a Kigo fanfic eventually. That means relations of a romantic/sexual nature between two consenting adult women in the privacy of their own...whereverthehelltheyare. If you don't like that, don't read it. Also, you suck and I hate you. 'Kay? 'Kay.

Thanks for plowing through this BS. I hope the tale you are about to consume is worth your time.

**Kim Possible:**

**Child Development**

by

Ffordesoon

Chapter 1 – The Status Quo

Drakken's Lair, 11:01 PM

Shego filed her nails as Dr. Drakken expounded on his latest idiotic scheme. The image was a common one in her life, although lately she was hoping Kimmie would stop Drakken preemptively so she could have some Goddamned peace and quiet for once. She was seriously considering posting on Kim's website as soon as the Doc (did he even _have_ a doctorate?)was done with his rant.

That, or find something good and hard to strike him with.

This latest "plan," if it could even be called that, involved chaining (or possibly just rubbing, Shego wasn't entirely sure) a bunch of eels together to power a lightning machine which would then be used to control the world's supply of electricity and get his "posse" back for laughing at him all those years ago. Or some such nonsense. Shego was not a scientist, but she was quite sure this was the scientific equivalent of the Steven Bochco abortion Cop Rock: it sounded like a great idea until Drakken actually decided to say it out loud to someone who wasn't a complete fucking lunatic.

She knew the machine would work, though. Because Drakken was somehow good at building devices that did damn near everything. Everything nefariously retarded, anyway. Why he couldn't use that energy and talent to develop a coffee maker or perhaps a line of _non_-mind-controlling hair care products, she'd never know.

Drakken was winding down now: "-And they will _rue_ the day they crossed... Dr. Drakken!" _Cue evil laugh_, thought Shego. "Muhuhuhahahahahahahahahaaa!" After Drakken came down from his high, he frowned. "Shego, why aren't you laughing?" he whined. His trademark rictus grin returned. "Isn't my plan so deliciously EVIL?"

"Yeah-huh, sure, Doc. It's _great_. Kim Possible won't foil our plans this time," Shego droned, raising her voice as she added,"like she has _every other Goddamn time in the history of time_!"

Drakken slumped slightly. "There's no need to get vulgar, Shego."

The object of his remark rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine. Whatever. Hit up my cell if you need me."

Drakken slumped further. "Where are you going, Shego?"

"Out."

"Out where?" He pouted.

"None of your beeswax, _Drewbie_. I'll be back whenever. Don't wait up." She sauntered out of the room. Drakken looked like someone had just shot his dog. She knew he would throw a tantrum when she left. She wasn't answering her cell for the next few hours, that was for damn sure.

Shego's Private Hideaway, 11:15 PM

Shego parked her jet in the hangar. She'd done things she wasn't proud of to get this place (not to mention the jet), the worst being helping Drakken into his pajamas before bed. She shuddered. _The bastard had to be _ticklish, she thought. _Never again_.

Dr. D was ultimately harmless, though. Plus, her employer paid her quite handsomely to put up with Drakken's shit. Occasionally convincing Drakken he signed the checks was worth it to get a place like this.

She actually felt kind of bad for Dr. D. He thought she was _his_ employee. Little did he know, those checks he signed were about as valid as Michael Bay's claim to artistry. No, her real employer was someone you could count on come payday, or any other time. Actually, she needed to talk to him right now.

As she entered her living room, she pulled out her green Gommunicator, idly wondering if Kim knew what her Kimmunicator really was: a tricked-out, Nerdlinger-approved iteration of something Team Go and its financiers invented. _The little geek probably found the leaked specs on the internet_, she thought. She waded through the menus, eventually getting to the phone function. She input the special number her employer had given her. It included three extra digits so no one would call accidentally. She hit send, turning toward the moonlit Upperton skyline as she did so.

Shego heard it ring five times, then there was a click as the encryption kicked in. She heard another three rings, then a louder click. Finally, the boss answered.

"Hello?"

He sounded a bit drained. She wasn't surprised.

"Hello, Mr. Paisley."

"Shego, for the last time, call me Donald."

Middleton High School, 12:09 PM The Next Day, T-Minus 5 Days Till Last Day of School

Kimberly Ann Possible was struggling to keep her composure. She was about to do something she'd wanted to do for the past 12 years. No, not graduate. Tell off Bonnie Rockwaller.

Yes, just five more days, then she'd be able to excoriate Bonnie without fear of reprisal. She'd even prepared a speech. She knew it was mean-spirited. She knew it wasn't what she would do. She was sure it was wrong. Hell, she totally got where Bonnie was coming from; Kim would probably be a bitch too if she had two older sisters constantly belittling her. This was actually sounding more and more like a bad idea...

But it would be so _glorious_...

"Uh, KP? You're drooling a bit." said Ron Stoppable. His naked molerat Rufus nodded and squeaked in agreement.

Her eyes widened. She quickly scooped the stray saliva off her chin with her tongue. "Is it gone, Ron?"

Ron nodded. "Checkarooni, KP." Then he frowned. "I think the whole lunch room saw it, though."

Kim looked around, knowing this was the first time she looked like more of a doofus than Ron. _Not that Ron is a doofus_, thought Kim. _I love him just the way he is... right?_ She shook her head. _Focus, Kim_.

The lunch room was quiet, apparently awaiting Kim's response. She noticed Bonnie in the corner, apparently saying something particularly witty. She giggled nervously. "I-I'm... hungry?" She turned away, scowling. "Stupid Bonnie thinks she's so great," Kim grumbled, adding, "You try saving the world from monkey ninjas and blue-"

_Beep-beep-be-beep_! went the Kimmunicator. Kim groaned. She pressed a button, and a fat 11-year-old in a blue shirt with mocha skin appeared on the screen."What's the sitch, Wade?"

Wade smirked. "Oh, the usual. Drakken. Shego."

Kim smirked back. "Ferociously stupid plan. What is it this time?"

"They're heading for the Middleton Aquarium. With a big net hanging off the hovercraft."

Kim rolled her eyes. "Transportation?"

Wade began typing. "Got it. Sending pickup coordinates to you now."

"You rock, Wade." Kim hung up, then looked at Ron, eyes narrowed, the faintest hint of a smile on her face. "Let's go to work."

Middleton Aquarium, 12:11 PM

Shego stared up at the broken skylight, then down at the fish tank full of eels. She was pretty sure she'd get kicked out of PETA for this, or at least fined. Still, what self-respecting aquarium had a skylight right above the fish tanks? In Middleton, where crazy bastards like Drakken lived? She thought they were asking for it to a certain extent. As she lowered the hovercraft's net into the water, she snickered a bit, remembering an old Monty Python sketch with a line strangely appropriate for this situation.

"What's so funny, Shego?" Drakken said, frowning. "This plan will work. You're just jealous 'cause you didn't think of it." He pouted.

Shego sighed. "Sure, Dr. D. I'm _so_ jealous."

Drakken grinned proudly and puffed out his chest, like a toddler who just made potty in the toilet for the first time. "Well, on the off chance this plan doesn't work, I'll let you come up with the next one."

Shego put her hand on her pale forehead. He'd never get it.

The Skies Above Middleton Aquarium, 12:15 PM

Kim still had the same expression on her face as the plane circled the aquarium. Anyone who knew her would have called it her "Mission Mode" face, but this one was slightly different. No one but Kim could tell why she was teetering on the edge of a smile. She wasn't quite sure herself, but she always wore the same expression when she was about to fight Shego. _Do I... _like _fighting Shego_? _No, that couldn't_-

"KP? Hellooooo?" Kim saw a hand waving around near her face.

"Wha-? Ron?" She turned to face him. They were sitting on a couple of chairs molded into the side of the plane. She could see the pilot in the cockpit, giving her the OK sign. She vaguely recalled seeing the same sign two other times in the last five minutes. Her gaze shifted back to Ron. He was frowning.

"Maybe we should call this off. You're totally spaced today." His eyes shone with concern. Rufus popped his head out of Ron's pocket and nodded, squeaking "Uh-huh, uh-huh. Spaced, yep."

Kim blushed, even as she wondered why she was blushing. It wasn't like she'd been caught doing something illicit. "No big, BF. Just senior slump." Ron's expression didn't change. "Really. Check the motto. 'I can do _anything_.' Remember?" She smiled, and Ron brightened a bit. He still looked worried, though. "Okay. I guess I still forget I'm your boyfriend sometimes. I need you here to remind me." He hung his head slightly.

"Aww... That's sweet, Ron." She kissed his forehead, then looked up. The pilot was giving the sign again. "But we gotta go. I think Mr. Geminini is getting tired of circling."

"Okay, Kim." Ron looked down at Rufus. "You ready, buddy?" Rufus nodded. All three of them took parachutes off the wall. Rufus' was, of course, a miniature version of the others'. They jumped out of the plane.

Kim's heartbeat quickened as she landed. She wasn't sure why, though.

Middleton Aquarium, 12: 19 PM

Shego was confused. She was tired of stealing eels for some weird ray thing that probably wouldn't work anyway, and she couldn't stall much longer. Where was Kimmie? _Probably playing kissy-face with that buffoon Stoppable_, she thought. _Come _on, _Kim_! _I'm ready to do our little dance_, _where are you_?

Drakken laughed maniacally. "Yes, Shego! Just a few more eels, then we can fly back to the lair and assemble the lightning machine!"

"Lightning machine? With _eels_? What?" Kim stood near a railing on the observation deck. It was level with Drakken's hovercraft, and you could see down into the tanks.

Shego smirked. _Finally_, she thought. "Welcome to my world, Princess." She leaped from the hovercraft, landing near Kim. "This is like his worst plan yet."

Drakken pouted. "Words hurt, Shego!"

Shego gritted her teeth. "Not as much as my fists!"

Drakken flinched in spite of the distance between himself and Shego. "Oh. Right. Yes."

Shego turned back to Kim, who was smiling in spite of herself. Shego thought it was cute. She filed the image away in her head. She growled, lit her hands up, and prepared to pounce, but she noticed something and became confused. "Where's the buffoon?"

Then a pair of pants fluttered down onto Drakken's head. Drakken groaned and threw them to the ground. Ron swung down on his grappling hook, clad in black shirt and boxers with little hearts on them. "Sorry, KP. Pants got caught. You know how it is."

"Ah," Shego said, then resumed her battle stance. "Let's dance, then."

Kim grinned a feral grin. They lunged at each other.

Shego swiped her glowing claws at Kim's abdomen. Kim was ready for those moves, and she jumped back a bit, avoiding the blows entirely. Shego growled at that. Kim saw Shego's fist speeding toward her and sidestepped accordingly. She used Shego's momentum against her, grabbing her arm and throwing her to the ground. Shego sprang up almost as soon as she was down, pouncing Kim. They fell to the floor, Shego on top of Kim.

As they were rolling around, Ron and Drakken just watched from the hovercraft, occasionally offering words of encouragement. They then realized they weren't doing anything, and started fighting awkwardly. There wasn't much room on the hovercraft, after all.

Kim and Shego were still tumbling when Kim spaced. She could see the fist coming at her face, but everything seemed to slow down as she turned toward Shego. She was suddenly awed. She saw Shego as if for the first time. She'd never really stopped to look at Shego when they fought. An almost childlike joy shone in Shego's eyes, which Kim found intoxicating despite herself. Then she saw Shego's face contort into a mask of horror as Kim's enemy realized her glowing green fist would connect with such a peaceful face. Kim didn't care. It was like a dream. Then the moment passed, and Kim closed her eyes, awaiting the blow of someone who, for whatever reason, she didn't want to fight anymore.

It never came.

Kim opened her eyes. Shego's fist was an inch away from her face and Shego herself was just staring, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. Kim could feel the heat from the glowing plasma, and Shego's hot breath on her face. The room was silent. Drakken and Ron were both staring as well.

Shego composed herself somewhat, then mumbled "Kimmie, it's no fun if you don't fight back." She sounded almost... shaken? Concerned? _Where did Shego, the Shego I know, go_? Kim thought.

Shego looked back over at Dr. Drakken. She jumped back to the hovercraft, threw Ron to the observation deck, cut the net off with her plasma (to Drakken's great displeasure), and zoomed out of the building. All without saying a word. Kim was quite puzzled, so she just kept lying there.

Ron ran to her side. "Oh God, Kim! Are you okay?"

She put her hand to her cheek. "Yeah, Ron. Yeah, I am. Sh-she didn't hurt me. Why didn't she...?"

Ron shook his head. "I dunno, KP. Rufus is still on the roof 'cause I told him to wait there. Let's get him and get back to class."

Middleton High, 12:58 PM – 3:19 PM

Kim sleepwalked through the rest of the day. All through her classes...

Possible Residence, 3:45 – 10:50 PM

...Through dinner with her family (and Ron), the Tweebs' pranks, Ron's goodnight kiss, and during her final walk to her bedroom.

All she could think about was...

That _look_.

And as she closed her eyes, she could still see it.

A Warehouse Somewhere in Middleton, 11:00 PM

Drakken had kicked Shego out that day, not that she minded. She didn't really mind anything except that _look_. She couldn't stop thinking about the way Kim was acting: as if the fight was over, as if she just... gave up. That wasn't the way the game was played. She and Kim fought to a standstill, Kim foiled Drakken's plan, they all ran away. Lather, rinse, repeat. It was a game she loved, and her dumb little Kimmie couldn't just change the rules. It wasn't what was supposed to happen. She finally understood Senor Senior Senior's reasoning.

As for why she was in a warehouse at 11 o'clock, Paisley had called and said to meet Mr. McHenry at this location at 11:00 PM sharp. If she had been focused at the time of the call, she would have been suspicious. But she wasn't, so she hadn't been.

She didn't see McHenry anywhere, and all that suspicion was smacking her in the face like a freight train now.

Out of the dark came a husky voice: "Hello, Heather."

She grimaced. The use of her real name couldn't possibly be good. "That's Agent Darkmoor to you, Mr. McHenry."

McHenry slithered out of the shadows. He was a tall, wiry man, and his slicked-back hair was silvery in the moonlight. He grinned, or more accurately bared his fangs. "Not quite, Heather. The Company does not tolerate failure. Not on black ops."

Then McHenry drew a silenced pistol on her.

Shego winced. This was bad. Very bad.

If someone were standing near that warehouse, they would have heard the distinct _chhk_ of a silenced gun discharging. Then another.

To Be Continued...

A/N: OOOO! Evil, evil cliffhanger!

The Monty Python sketch alluded to is, I believe, the "Hungarian-English Phrasebook" sketch. The specific quote is "My hovercraft is full of eels." Seriously, look it up.

As I said at the start, please read and review. Whatever happens, I'll see y'all again with Chapter 2, which is tentatively entitled:

Smoke On The Water.

Cheers!


	2. Smoke On The Water

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I seek to make any profit from this work. Kim Possible is owned by the Walt Disney Co., and was created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle.

Any other works (songs, books, films, comics, other fanfics, etc.) or real people (celebrities, world leaders, historical figures, serial killers, actuaries, etc.) referenced in this fic are TM and Copyright their respective owners and/or their respective selves. Again, I make no profit whatsoever from this work or anything related to it. Please do not sue. I am but a lowly stripling. Again, NO PROFIT. NONE.

Any original characters that may or may not appear in this fic were wholly fabricated by me, and are owned by me. If you wish to use them in your own work (Ha! Fat chance), I have absolutely zero problem with that as long as you accede credit regarding their parentage to me; a link to the resultant work would also be appreciated.

Please review, especially if it's crap. Detailed reviews, please. Saying "ZOMG, that was so lame!1!111!" may be technically legal, but it doesn't actually have any effect beyond making me want to punch you in the face; reviews which actually tell me what the hell I did wrong insure your brain against further violation by whatever aspect of my writing you found utterly noxious. I will not get better unless you tell me WHY I suck, is what I am saying. And no, I will not stop writing.

A cursory similarity between Saracenn's "Ties That Bind" and this story has been pointed out to me. I'll say this: I've never read it. I took a glance at the first couple of chapters because the plot sounded similar to my idea, but ultimately decided she went a very different way with it. That said, anyone who's read Hobnob-Rev's "Kim Possible: Mind, Body and Soul" (and if you haven't, do it now. Really. Go. This story can wait. It's in my favorites list, so you have no excuse) will recognize a certain scene in here. It's pretty much wholesale theft, honestly. I promise to try to refrain from things like this in the future, but the scene in question had to be written that way. Plus, Hob kinda took bits of his scene from Allaine's "An Unacceptable Sitch" (if you haven't read _that_, why are you still wasting time on this crap?), so I feel semi-vindicated (Translation: Please don't kill me, Hob!). That said, the device employed is quite stale in Kigo fics by now, so... sorry.

Thanks to all those at the KP Slash Haven who responded to the previous version of this chapter, particularly Beeftony. His constructive criticism encouraged me to repost this chapter so it didn't read like ass. If you still dislike this one, BT... also sorry.

I'm using a bit of junk-science in this chapter, on the assumption that Drakken is a nutball who can make anything as long as it's theoretically semi-possible and requires a PhD in Crazy. I apologize if the bit of "science" to which I am referring takes you out of the story, but I had to do it that way. Because I am crap at science.

Finally, this will be a Kigo fanfic eventually. That means relations of a romantic/sexual nature between two consenting adult women in the privacy of their own...whereverthehelltheyare. If you don't like that, don't read it. Also, you suck and I hate you. 'Kay? 'Kay.

Oh! Also, you may want to have a cursory knowledge of the Kim Possible universe, particularly A Sitch in Time and So The Drama, before reading this fic. Nothing you couldn't find on Wikipedia or KP Fanworld, however (that's certainly what I'm using).

Thanks for plowing through this BS. I hope the tale you are about to consume is worth your time.

_Italics _= thoughts, sounds and emphasis

ALL CAPS = yelling

**Kim Possible:**

**Child Development**

By

Ffordesoon

Chapter 2 – Smoke On The Water

A Warehouse Somewhere In Middleton, 11:01 PM

As a grinning Louis McHenry pointed the silenced pistol at her, Shego scowled. "What the hell, McHenry? Dr. D's failed lots of times." She put her hands up. "The fuck's the problem this time?"

McHenry grunted in frustration. He supposed she had a right to know. "He's never _fired_ you before, Heather. You've never deliberately caused his failure. That's the problem." The pistol never wavered.

Shego frowned, cursing silently. "Ah. Paisley order this?"

McHenry laughed. "I'm quite through talking, Heather. I suggest running."

Shego flipped away from the first shot. "How about jumping? How's that grab ya?"

McHenry growled and aimed again. Shego clambered up the ample supply of dusty boxes to the windows. McHenry fired off another shot and it caught her on the back of her calf. She faltered, yelping. McHenry grinned. Shego knew what to do. She rolled off the boxes and collapsed behind some crates on the floor, presumably dead.

She hoped that was what he thought, anyway.

She heard him walk out of the warehouse. She strained to hear him saying anything, but the pain searing through her leg drew most of her attention, with a little more of it directed at the pain from the fall. She thought she heard McHenry say something like "It's done," then walk off into the night.

That was good enough for her; it had to be.

_Thank you, drama class_, she thought.

She got up slowly, biting her tongue so she didn't scream from the pain. She shimmied up the boxes again, blood squirting from the wound as she did so. The blood splashed onto the ground and some of the crates. She saw that and knew she had maybe until the morning to find help. She dragged herself up to the windows. She had no lockpicks on her because Kimmie's serene look fucked up her day, so she had to slice the window open with her plasma.

She squeezed through the opening, sustaining some superficial cuts as she did so. She would take care of those after she got help. The windows looked out onto the roof, and she limped as silently as she could toward the hovercraft she stole from Drakken. She got in, and then looked back at the bloody trail leading to her vehicle.

This was definitely not good.

She opened a compartment on the underside of the hovercraft's control panel, and pulled out a roll of gauze she kept in case Kim played too rough. She never did (well, except the electrical tower thing, which she sort of understood), but it was good to know it was there for situations such as this one. She ripped some off the roll, bit one end, tied it around her calf, and glided away at the slowest possible speed. A dull hum issued from the hovercraft, and she couldn't go faster without an increase in volume.

Mr. McHenry saw her leave from his perch on a neighboring roof.

He dialed Mr. Paisley.

Paisley answered, haggard.

"This is Paisley. Speak."

"Don? Louis."

"Louis! How'd it go?"

"She did what we wanted, Don."

"Excellent, excellent! So she'll go to Possible, then?"

"Almost undoubtedly."

"See that she does. Make sure you're not seen, though."

"Check, Don. Over and out."

McHenry smiled as it began to rain.

Outside Drakken's Lair, 11:57 PM

The lair resembled a Gothic castle as filtered through the eye of Pieter Brueghel. It was perched atop a tall, thin mesa near the last exit out of Middleton. Shego often wondered why Drakken even bothered installing security systems. If the place were any more obvious, it would just look like a giant white sign that said, "Arrest me, for I am Dr. Drakken." And then it would have listed their phone number.

_I gotta admit_,_ though_,she thought,_ it _is_ easy to find in a storm_.

Shego winced as she ascended. The hovercraft's control mechanism required both feet to keep it level, and the bullet felt like it was lodged in between two muscles, muscles that she apparently flexed when operating the hovercraft. In her amateur opinion, those muscles were stupid and deserved what they got. She just wished she didn't have to feel the pain too.

The rain wasn't helping. Drakken had designed his hovercrafts as circular disks with bowl-like cockpits. Unfortunately, there was no plastic dome over the cockpit. Drakken had said something about it being "aesthetically displeasing." Sure, he'd built in a rainproof "colander" feature that opened a bunch of tiny holes in the floor, but that drained the water _eventually_, not when Shego needed it to, which was _right now_.

Her foot kept slipping off the pedal, causing the vehicle to wobble slightly one way or the other. "Goddamn hoverthingy…" she muttered. Her jumpsuit's bootheels also squeaked whenever her foot slid off; she was starting to hate that Goddamn noise.

The worst thing was the water pooling on the floor of the hovercraft. The water made it harder to ascend, and any more pressure was not what she needed right now. Not to mention the fact that she felt like a soiled condom in her jumpsuit. She shivered as she dragged the hovercraft skyward._ Why didn't I take my jet_? she thought. _Stupid little Princess..._

She didn't want to go back to Drakken, but she knew there was no way Kimmie would just take her in, no questions asked, and Shego wouldn't want to owe her one. Granted, Kim _was_ a hero, and heroes had an obligation to help anyone who came to them with problems, but Shego wasn't quite sure if Kim was into that whole "help _anyone _in need" jazz. She was pretty sure she was, but Kim had stolen stuff before and not asked a lot of questions. That _was_ because she thought Drakken was the Nerdlinger, though. Then the time with Senor Senior Junior and the cookie recipe...

She didn't want to chance it, but she knew she'd have to if this didn't work out. She was seriously considering passing out, and none of the other villains lived close enough for her to remain conscious through the journey.

Plus, Kim's mother was some sort of surgeon, which, she supposed, was better than no sort of surgeon.

She guided the hovercraft into Dr. Drakken's hangar. She didn't want to make too much noise, lest she wake Drakken before she needed to. He was always in a foul mood if he didn't get enough sleep. Why a self-professed "evil genius" went to bed at 9 o'clock instead of staying up and scheming, she'd never know. What was the point of being evil if you didn't break any rules?

She limped gingerly through Drakken's lair, so as not to slip. The boots were still making that accursed squeaking sound, and she wanted to stab whichever demon came up with it.

The lab was severely creepy after dark, all fluorescent glows and bubbling primary-colored chemicals casting stained-glass refractions on the walls of the compound, not to mention the dry ice-style haze of fog spewing out of many of the test tubes and beakers.

Shego had seen it before and would probably see it again, but it still felt faintly eerie to her, like she lived in Dr. Praetorius' laboratory. She'd seen Bride of Frankenstein when she was five, and never forgotten it. Praetorius' little homunculi freaked her out something awful.

She turned the corner into Drakken's room, almost slipping as she did so. She stomped the unbalanced foot back to the floor on instinct, screaming when she felt her idiot muscles tense up around the bullet in her leg. "SHIT! Sorry, Dr. D." Drakken lay sprawled on the bed. "Dr. D?" A noise like that would usually wake him up. Shego turned on the light, and then gasped.

The bed was bloody.

Drakken had a bullet hole in his head.

And there was a camera set up on a tripod, recording the whole thing.

A fiberoptic wire ran to a wall socket. This was being transmitted remotely. Shego's only thought was a continuous stream of curse words.

Shego saw a little sticky note taped to the camera. It read: "I see you."

Shego took the camera off the tripod, ripped the wire out, and ran. Hopefully, the camera had the recording on its hard drive. If it didn't, she was pretty much fucked.

After Shego left, a spider-like robot slowly cut itself out of Drakken's chest. It resembled a daddy long-legs, except it had a vial of Drakken's DNA as its "head." After it got out of his chest, it began to creep toward his cloning machine...

Kim's Dream, 10:50 PM – 1:20 AM

Kim fought Shego, but it was a _nice_ fight.

They were sparring in what Kim immediately recognized as a dojo. Then Ron came in and tripped over his pants, which somehow ripped the floor out from under her.

She fell for a while, and then landed on the floor of a nightclub. Scads of people were dancing in the background, but they looked oddly two-dimensional. Dr. Drakken was sitting at a table with a monkey in a miniature bellhop uniform sitting on his back. The monkey squawked like a parrot, and leapt away. Drakken's lips were moving, but there was no sound coming out.

Kim danced for a bit. A little bald man with a plate of American cheese slices walked over to her, saying something about the cheese not fearing him or something. Kim didn't get it.

Then the walls of the club shook as a loud, continuous _tap_ echoed through the building…

Then Kim ate an apricot pie for some reason.

Possible Residence, Kim's Loft, 1:19 AM

_Tap_. _Tap_. _Tap_. _Taptaptap_. _Knocknocknock_. _Thud_.

"Princess, open up!"

Kim stirred, mumbling "Prnc-c-cicot pie."

_ThudthudTHUD_!

"What? Not pie, Shego! Wake up!"

Kim sat up. "Shgo? Whass. Whassap'n." She sniffed.

The voice spoke through gritted teeth now. "Open. The. Damn. _Window_."

Kim walked toward the window. Her hand reached for the latch. She was about to open it when she remembered who she was, and who was sitting on the roof begging her to open the window. "Shego? What-why are you here? How do you even know where I live?" She was kind of scared now.

Shego growled. Then she saw the fear in Kim's eyes. She calmed down as best she could (which still wasn't very calm), then slowly but efficiently explained the situation, eliminating contractions for clarity. "I have been here several times before. I am in great pain. You are in danger. Open the window."

She didn't want to tell Kim she'd been shot just yet. She knew it was stupid, but she was worried Kim might laugh at her.

Kim's eyes narrowed. "I'm in danger? Funny how me being in danger and you being nearby always seem to coincide."

Shego could barely suppress her growing anger. She kneaded her forehead and growled. "I've known where you live for a long time, Kimmie. Why haven't I done this before?"

Kim was really pissed now, the kind of pissed you only get when you've just been rudely awakened. "I dunno, why haven't you?"

That comment put Shego over the top. "GODDAMMIT, KIM! Here I am with a BULLET IN MY LEG and you're being a TOTAL BITCH!" Her vision was starting to blur, and she was shivering like she had Parkinson's.

Kim was taken aback. "ME? I'M A BITCH? YOU – Wait, bullet? Y-you've-"

"BEEN SHOT, _PRINCESS_! UNLOCK THE FUCKING WINDOW!" Shego's head was throbbing now.

Kim unlocked the window. Shego climbed halfway in, then collapsed.

A wet, shivering, bloody Shego spilled onto Kim's loft's formerly pristine carpet. A little black rectangle, which Kim recognized almost immediately as a handheld camcorder, rolled out of Shego's grasp. Kim picked it up, recoiled, and threw it onto her bed. Shego's blood was on the handle.

Shego groaned. She didn't know she'd expended so much energy getting here, but now the drain was hitting her all at once. "Princess, you…camera…you need to…the Doc…dead…uhhh…"

Kim felt a fairly unfamiliar emotion now: guilt.

She practically flew down the stairs, screaming "OH GOD! _MOM_!"

Shego sighed and passed out, knowing she was safe, at least for the moment. She would tell Kim the whole thing later… if it wasn't already too late.

Possible Residence, Living Room, 1:25 AM

Dr. Katherine Ann Possible was unsure of a number of things, but the main insecurity currently bedeviling her had to do with the green arch-foe of her daughter's currently draped across the coffee table and dripping blood on the carpet. The _freshly cleaned_ carpet, she noted sadly. With James and the twins at a rocketry conference, she'd hoped the carpet would stay unblemished for at least a day.

Her daughter Kimberly was currently staring up at her, radiating a mixture of defiant hope and sheer panic. "I-is she gonna be okay, Mom? Just 'cause we're enemies doesn't mean I want her to die!" She frowned.

Kate looked down at her daughter. Kim was obviously not going to take no for an answer, and, truth be told, neither was she. "She needs to be in a hospital, Kim."

Kim nodded. "Right, I-I know that… But what about what she said? About me being in danger or-or whatever."

Kate put her hand on Kim's shoulder, lowering herself slightly to meet her daughter's gaze. "Honey. One, she'll be fine, but only if we get her to the hospital in time. She has cuts all over her body. They look worse than they are, but they'll need disinfectant before they can heal. We could do that here, but that doesn't solve the problem of the bullet in her leg-"

Kim gasped. "S-so she wasn't lying?" she whispered. _Was_ she in danger?

Kate gripped Kim's shoulder tightly. "No, Kimmie-cub. The wound will become gangrenous if we don't get it out. We'll have to amputate then. I have tools, but there's a chance they're dirty, and unclean tools have as much of achance of killing her as anything else. If we get her to the hospital, I'll have clean tools, machines, the works. Not to mention doctors with more experience in this area. The other thing is, and I don't know if you've thought about this, but she's a fugitive from justice. She'll be arrested when we get her patched up. This may sound odd, but are you okay with that?"

Kim thought for a moment.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Kim said, wondering why her stomach felt queasy.

Kate frowned. "Well, she came to you, gave you potentially vital information, and entrusted you with her life. She may expect you to reciprocate. When she wakes up, and you don't…"

Kim's eyes grew wide. "…She might be a wee bit ticked. And she knows where I live. And no cell on Earth can hold her. Good point, Mom." _I wonder why she even came to me_? Kim added, to herself.

Kim stroked her chin. "Maybe we shouldn't take her yet. Maybe we can see-"

"...Take me to the Goddamn hospital, Princess."

Kim chuckled nervously. "Shego! You're, uh, awake!"

Shego's eyes fluttered open. "I'm goin' in an' out. Hey, Kim's Mom? Reach into the pouch on...left leg...my..." Her head lolled backward and she was out again.

Kate found the pouch and did as she was told. Inside, there was an ID card. Kate's eyes widened as she looked it over.

"Oh, hell," she said, and put her hand over her mouth. "Kim, she won't be arrested. I can promise you that." She took out her cell phone.

"Who're you calling, Mom? This late?"

Kate dialed a special number. "A friend. She'll be up."

"What do we need her for?"

"Protection."

"Who is she?"

"You've met."

Middleton Hospital, Reception Desk, 1:50 AM

Jennifer Opton was a night nurse. She wasn't the best, but she wasn't the worst, either. She had learned to expect odd things at Middleton Hospital. She had seen people with death ray injuries (which she found rather ironic), plasma burns in the shape of hands, blue mad scientists who swore up and down that they "fell down some stairs," tons of people from some paramilitary outfit with the initials "GJ," and monkeys dressed in both pretty floral dresses and what appeared to be miniature ninja outfits.

Thus, she was not at all surprised when she saw a group of soldiers representing said paramilitary outfit wheeling a stretcher in, nor was she surprised to see them brandishing high-powered rifles despite hospital regulations. She wasn't even fazed by the brown-haired woman with the eye patch barking orders.

When she saw the chief of neurosurgery at the center of the whole messy procession and her teenage daughter trailing behind, she thought she had it figured out. "Must be the blond kid," she muttered.

Then she caught a glimpse of the woman on the stretcher. There was no mistaking that skin tone.

It was her half-sister Heather.

But Heather was dead.

...Right?

Middleton Hospital, Outside Operating Room 3, 3:40 AM

Kim couldn't sleep. She was curled up in a fetal position on an incredibly uncomfortable hospital sofa, Pandaroo in hand, trying like hell to forget the wounds covering Shego's body. Needless to say, she was unsuccessful. It didn't help that the cushion was green.

Dr. Elizabeth Director, head of the international peacekeeping force Global Justice, walked out of the operating room, two helmeted soldiers flanking her. She told them to guard the door. She noticed the shellshocked Kim curled up on the sofa, eyes wide.

As she saw it, she had two options: One, she could mutter some empty platitude at the distraught teen and walk to the post she'd assigned herself. Two, she could let the kid know some classified information that would probably cheer her up, and take the resultant heat for it from her superiors.

The choice was easy. She owed Kim many times over, after all.

"Ms. Possible."

Kim looked up. "Doctor Director?"

"Affirmative, Ms. Possible. It may interest you to know that your friend-"

"Shego? She's not my friend! She tries to kill me almost daily!" Kim sputtered.

Dr. Director cracked an infinitesimal smile. "Fair enough. The patient in this room," she said, nodding toward the operating room doors, "has a special ability you may not know about."

"The plasma? No, I-"

"Not that. She heals quickly. Quicker than normal humans. She can also take an abnormal amount of punishment. She'll be fine."

Kim's eyes widened. "No way..."

"Affirmative way."

Kim smiled. Even though Shego was an enemy, she was glad to know she'd be okay.

As they talked, one of the guards removed his helmet. Agent William Du, to be exact. Will cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the two women. "Director, this is highly irregular. The GJ rulebook states quite clearly-"

Her working eye narrowed. "I know what it says, Agent. I _wrote_ it. It also says that interrupting a superior officer while he or she is briefing an operative is grounds for imprisonment for up to three days in the brig. If you care to test that rule, by all means, continue."

Will gulped and bit his lip.

Kim chuckled. "Hey, Will." She waved sheepishly.

Will affixed the helmet firmly back into place, and then nodded at Kim.

Doctor Director turned back to Kim and sighed. "The boy believes anything I tell him. You're not even an operative." She smiled faintly. "Well, I should hasten to my post." She stood and nodded at Kim. "Ms. Possible."

Kim was sound asleep less than five minutes later.

Possible Residence, Front Lawn, 4:45 AM

Nick Schaffer (Codename: Agent Epsilon) crept silently toward the front stoop. He had a "present" for the Possible family courtesy of the Worldwide Evil Empire. Their house had just appeared on Gemini's radar three hours ago. A localized EMP dart (courtesy of HenchCo) had taken care of the Possible home security system without alerting anyone, and now Agent Epsilon was free to ascend the Possibles' sloping driveway.

Epsilon unwrapped the bomb and began setting it up.

Middleton Hospital, Outside Operating Room 3, 6:20 AM

Kim uncurled from her position on the sofa when she heard the operating room doors open. She sat up and yawned, then brushed away a strand of drool tenuously connecting her to the sofa. She saw her mother exiting the operating room.

Kate strode confidently over to her, and Kim saw her smile as she took off her surgical mask. "She'll be fine, Kimmie-cub."

Kim smiled. "Spankin', Mom!" Then she frowned. "Now I just have to talk to her. Oy."

Middleton Hospital, Room 121-B, 6:45 AM

Shego awoke staring Betty Director in the face. She looked around for Kim. She saw sunlit curtains, a table with flowers, some stuffed animal that looked sort of familiar, typical hospital stuff.

_No Kimmie, though_, Shego thought.

"Ms. Possible is in the restroom," said Dr. Director.

"Oh. Right." Shego's eyes narrowed. "Wait, Betty? What are you doing here?"

Betty's lip curled upward. "Good morning, Heather."

Shego grinned. "God, it's great to see you! When was it-"

Betty's lip resumed its previous position. "The Marrakech op." She pointed to her eye patch.

Shego's smile disappeared. "...Oh yeah. Your quote-unquote older brother still giving you shit?"

Betty nodded. "I did, however, pay him back for my disfigurement."

Shego smirked. "You squish it?"

Betty actually chuckled at that. "No, I'm not cruel. I just gouged it out with a combat knife."

Shego laughed with approval. "God_damn_, girl! You grew up quick."

"Ms. Possible is requesting permission to enter," Betty's radio squawked.

Shego winced. "Is that who I think it is?"

Betty pointed to the radio and mouthed, "Will."

Shego's frown grew more pronounced. "Fuck," she whispered.

"Send her in." Betty put on her "Dr. Director face" again. "Get into character, _Shego_."

Shego almost complied, and then remembered who shot her. She shook her head. "Betty, I'm bringing Kimmie in on this."

"On what? What's Drakken's done this time, Shego? It's gotta be ferociously wrongsick if he did that to _you_." Kim stood behind Dr. Director, scowling. Kim scooped up the stuffed animal before striding to Shego's bedside.

"Kimmie, about Dr. D-"

Then Shego connected the dots. The stuffed animal was Kim's Pandaroo. "Ah, shit. Why'd you have to bring the Pandaroo, Kim?" Shego put her hand over her face. "Is there anybody coming by your house soon?"

Kim was confused. "What?"

Shego shook her and yelled, "DAMMIT, KIM! Your Pandaroo jams radar signals! If it's not at your house, all your enemies know EXACTLY WHERE YOU LIVE!"

Kim frowned. "How do you…then that means...why do you know this?"

Shego kneaded her forehead. "No time, Kimmie! Traps! By now they've set traps! Now, is anybody coming by your house soon?"

Kim looked at Dr. Director. "Dr. Director, are you buying this?"

Dr. Director nodded gravely.

Kim's eyes widened. If Dr. Director was buying it, it was the truth. "Uh...Let's see, Ron walks me to...sch...OH GOD! RON!"

She ran out of the room with tears in her eyes.

Shego looked at Dr. Director. "Betty, you gotta send some guys after her. She might need help."

Possible Residence, Front Door, 7:00 AM

Ron Stoppable rang the doorbell. Unknown to him, a mechanism was triggered.

The house exploded.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Is Ron dead? It certainly looks like it... Gosh! I wonder what'll happen next? :)

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter, particularly King in Yellow & Blackbird for their advice. I hope everyone enjoyed this one even more.

References: "Smoke On The Water" is a classic song by Deep Purple. If you haven't heard it, you are very probably a Communist. ;)

Pieter Breughel is a famous classical painter best known for his rendition of the Tower Of Babel. Google him.

Dr. Praetorius is from "Bride of Frankenstein," one of the greatest films ever, and certainly the best in the Frankenstein series. His "homunculi" are little men he keeps in jars. Yes, you read that right. Watch the film. It's super-weird and awesome.

The daddy long-legs is a type of spider. I don't know what its formal name is, but down here in Alabama, we call it a daddy long-legs.

The little bald man with the cheese is, of course, the Cheese Man from the Season 4 finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, entitled "Restless." Elements of Kim's dream were also borrowed from the dream sequence in the Season 2 episode "Surprise." If you've seen it, you know which ones.

This was the chapter I was itching to write. I know blowing up the Possible home seems like a fairly harsh thing to do in a KP fanfic at Chapter 2, but that's cake compared to some of the stuff that happens later. I'm gonna put Kim through the wringer with this one.

I named Mrs. Dr. P after Katherine Anne Porter. Why, I have no idea.

Next time, you'll get to see Kim kick serious ass, I promise.

I have plans for Jennifer the nurse. Very, very big plans.

The next chappie may take a little while, folks. It's the big Shego's past explanation chapter, so pardon me if it takes a little more than a week to do. I have to do a paper for my Lit class as well. Don't worry though, you'll know Ron's fate soon enough.

Chikiko: Messrs. Paisley and McHenry are from A Sitch in Time, the first KP movie (actually a three-part episode, but it came to DVD as a movie, so we'll go with that). Their first names and roles within this story are entirely my own invention, however.

Finally, this story will be roughly 26 chapters. Thought you might like to know.

In any case, Chapter 3 could only be called:

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Yes, I know it's cliché. But it fits.


	3. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Pt 1

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I seek to make any profit from this work. Kim Possible is owned by the Walt Disney Co., and was created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle.

Any other works (songs, books, films, comics, other fanfics, etc.) or real people (celebrities, world leaders, historical figures, serial killers, actuaries, etc.) referenced in this fic are TM and Copyright their respective owners and/or their respective selves. Again, I make no profit whatsoever from this work or anything related to it. Please do not sue. I am but a lowly stripling. Again, NO PROFIT. NONE.

Any original characters that may or may not appear in this fic were wholly fabricated by me, and are owned by me. If you wish to use them in your own work (Ha! Fat chance), I have absolutely zero problem with that as long as you accede credit regarding their parentage to me; a link to the resultant work would also be appreciated.

Please review, especially if it's crap. Detailed reviews, please. Saying "ZOMG, that was so lame!1!111!" may be technically legal, but it doesn't actually have any effect beyond making me want to punch you in the face; reviews which actually tell me what the hell I did wrong insure your brain against further violation by whatever aspect of my writing you found utterly noxious. I will not get better unless you tell me WHY I suck, is what I am saying. And no, I will not stop writing.

Finally, this will be a Kigo fanfic eventually. That means relations of a romantic/sexual nature between two consenting adult women in the privacy of their own...whereverthehelltheyare. If you don't like that, don't read it. Also, you suck and I hate you. 'Kay? 'Kay.

Oh! Also, you may want to have a cursory knowledge of the Kim Possible universe, particularly A Sitch in Time and So The Drama, before reading this fic. Nothing you couldn't find on Wikipedia or KP Fanworld, however (that's certainly what I'm using).

You should also go to Chapter 2 and read it again, if you haven't already. I revised it heavily, and not only is it almost twice as long, but characters act as they should, and there's a couple more twists thrown in for good measure! I say this now because I replaced the chapter with the new one instead of deleting it, so I'm assuming you haven't gotten a notice about it from the mailer. I was able to keep my reviews, but my fic didn't jump back to the top of the update list. Thus, instead of bothering my readers through email, I'm saying it now. Please go back and read Chapter 2. Everything in this chapter proceeds from the revised version, NOT the original.

Also, Chapter 1 has a continuity error I may correct later, but as of right now, I don't have time to correct such a minor error. I WILL correct it, but for now, just assume Mr. Dr. P and the Tweebs have been at the "rocketry conference" all along, and not at the house. There is much to be said for making a story up as you go along, but it's _hell _on continuity.

Also, I'd like to address the seeming OOC-ness of Kim using curse words in the past couple of chapters. Nobody's complained about it, but I have a sneaking suspicion it bothered some of you. Frankly, I never bought the whole fanon idea of Kim not cursing at all. She's a teenager. They curse all the time. Is Kim well behaved? Certainly. She doesn't curse very often in this fic, only during extremely stressful times or when she's muttering something under her breath, and even then it's usually something closer to "damn" than "motherfucker." I think that approach suits her better than turning her into Mary Marvel, don't you?

Thanks for plowing through this BS. I hope the tale you are about to consume is worth your time.

_Italics _= thoughts, sounds and emphasis

ALL CAPS = yelling

**Kim Possible:**

**Child Development**

By

Wright S. Johnson

AKA "Ffordesoon"

Chapter 3 – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Possible Residence, 7:00AM

Ron Stoppable strode up to the house on the hill. It was a very oddly designed house, a product of the Seventies fixation on Frank Lloyd Wright, yet oddly redolent of the ideals of the Fifties: Progress, Industry, Space, Science, Optimism, and Let's Beat Those Dirty Russkies. It was painted an orange-yellow hue, like a sunrise. The whole house was like a sunrise, really. The design itself was all sideways V shapes and rectangles, with a little overhang jutting straight above the rocky slope of the hill. That, in turn, was held up by a reinforced titanium frame in the shape of a cube. It all looked like some cheery math problem with people inside. Looking at it, one really got a sense of what Ronald Reagan meant when he said "It's morning in America." It was a reflection of its owners' mantra: "Anything's possible for a Possible."

Barely any of this occurred to Ron as he was walking up to the door. To him, this place was simply the home of his best friend and girlfriend of one year, Kimberly Ann Possible. Contrary to popular belief (including that of a certain green and blue criminal duo), Ron was not a "buffoon." He was an expert at fooling people (including himself) into believing that untruth, but in actuality he could "accidentally" foil evil plots just as well as Kim could on purpose.

Unfortunately, in addition to his many talents, Ron _was_ incredibly solipsistic, focused almost entirely on himself and his needs. This attitude was not a purposeful one, but instead a reaction to being constantly babied by everyone he knew. Everyone liked Ron too much to get him to change.

As Ron's finger was about to touch the doorbell, he realized he'd forgotten his backpack and therefore his homework, books, writing utensils, and Kimmunicator. His house was about 30 minutes away by scooter, and it was another 30 minutes to the school, then another 5 minutes to get to class.

Unfortunately, he'd totaled his scooter in a wreck two days ago.

He didn't want to make Kim late as well, so he decided to leave.

He figured Kim wouldn't mind taking her car for a spin. They'd started walking to school again after Kim had expressed her preference for it over driving to school with him, citing as an example the "superior makeout potential" inherent in _not _having to keep her eyes on the road all the time.

All this occurred to him in the split-second before he actually touched the doorbell, and it was what saved him in the seconds afterward.

He began running back to his house immediately after he rang the doorbell, believing Mrs. Dr. Possible would simply write it off as a very strange prank.

When he got to the sidewalk three seconds later, the house exploded. Ron was thrown to the ground by the aftershocks.

Ron's eyes widened. "KP!" he yelled, scrambling to his feet. There was no house there, just a cloud of dust. It was too late.

He sank to his knees in tears, and watched the house he'd practically grown up in disintegrate, presumably along with the woman he only now _knew _he loved. Immediately, images of what he would do to whoever killed his lady love started flooding his brain. They weren't pretty. Zorpox the Conqueror, Ron's evil alter ego, would have flinched at a few of them. Now, though, was the time for mourning. Ron would find the bastards later.

Rufus the naked molerat peeked out of Ron's pocket. He sniffed the air, then squeaked, "No Kim, uh-uh."

Ron choked up. "I-I know, buddy. Not anymore."

He buried his face in his hands, screaming.

Rufus crawled onto the grass and tapped Ron on his left hand. Ron looked up.

Rufus shook his head. "Uh-uh, Kim no here."

Ron started crying again, then stopped suddenly. "Wait...y-you mean Kim wasn't in there?"

Rufus grinned, or at least approximated a grin. "Uh-huh, uh-huh. No one here."

Rufus did not expect to be hugged as hard as he was at that moment. He felt very briefly like a balloon about to pop.

"BOO-YAH!" screamed Ron.

"SHUT UP!" screamed a neighbor from across the street.

"SORRY!" screamed Ron.

At that moment Kim's purple Roth SL Coupe, or "Sloth 2.0" as they'd come to call it (they added the 2.0 after the Tweebs souped it up), screeched to a halt, and Kim dove out of the car with the force and ferocity of a lioness protecting her young.

She spied Ron on the sidewalk and ran to his side. "RON! Are you okay?"

He looked up, beaming, great rivers of tears flowing down his face. "I'm great, Kim." The horrific images had ceased, replaced entirely by the pure, ethereal glow of true joy. "I'm really great."

Ron crushed his lips to hers. He put everything into the kiss, all his awkwardness and tension and insecurity and honor and courage and sincere, pure love into one electric, ecstatic, spontaneous moment of pure joy at being alive and well and in love, because, dammit, this was what life was, a gift given to those who dared to _live_, and Ron Stoppable would be damned if he was gonna let some stupid deathtrap steal away everything that was beautiful and true and made life worth living.

Kim... received.

She tried to reciprocate with the same joyous enthusiasm, she really did, but the fire just wasn't there. She wanted to see what was left of her house, wanted to _know_ that what she had was gone forever. Most of it could be replaced, sure, but it wouldn't be _hers_, not really. You couldn't replace memories.

At the same time, she was disgusted with herself. She knew she should be grateful that Ron and Rufus were alive and unharmed, and she was. But she also felt bad about missing _things_, objects. She knew she was being selfish, but she couldn't help it. She tried so, so hard to keep everything safe at home, and now it was just... gone.

She couldn't figure out how she was supposed to feel. She didn't blame Ron for wanting to kiss her. He hadn't lost a home, a place to stay and feel safe. He had one. _Wait, if_ he _has a place to stay, we may have one too_, Kim thought. Kim grimaced as she realized they had nothing to pack. _Maybe Mo can help us_...

Kim's eyes widened. _And Shego_... W_hat will we do about Shego_?

Ron, meanwhile, noticed her lack of interest in the kiss. He was a bit miffed at that, but quickly forgave her. Her house had just been blown up, after all. She'd probably come from wherever she'd come from and seen her house go up in flames.

_Wait_, thought Ron, _where _did _she just come from_?

Ron broke the kiss, much to Kim's relief. Not that she'd say that.

"Uh, KP," asked Ron, arms still wrapped around his girlfriend, "Not that I'm complaining, but if you weren't at your house last night, where were you?"

Kim, still focused on the Shego sitch, spoke without thinking. "Saving Shego," she said absently.

"Oh, well that's fiWHAT?" Ron pushed her away. His eyes bulged so wide they almost fell out of their sockets. "Shuh-shu-shah-sh-SHEGO? WHAT?" Ron's face assumed an expression it had only ever assumed when he had his photo taken for the school yearbook. It resembled to a Picasso painting, only with more angles. "Yuh-you- With- Th- WHAT? AAAAHH! SICK AND WRONG, KP! WHAT? I mean, SHEGO? WHA-" He flapped his arms like a frightened chicken, still loudly attempting to form words.

Kim put a finger to Ron's lips. "Ron. Calm down. Let me explain. See-"

It was at that moment that Dr. James T. Possible's blue station wagon pulled into the driveway. The man known to Ron as Mr. Dr. P stepped out of the vehicle and, eyes closed, inhaled the presumably fresh air. He sighed contentedly, and opened his eyes.

James' eyebrow twitched. Then it twitched again. His mouth fell open. His house was a smoking crater.

The Tweebs jumped out of the station wagon. They wore the same expression.

James turned to the boys he'd named after himself. He spoke patiently, but barely-controlled anger simmered beneath his words. "Jim, Tim. Did you put your toothpaste-based antigrav generators up like I told you to?"

They nodded.

"_And_ the self-fueling rocket boots you made out of old Mr. Gurning's collection of wooden shoes?"

They nodded again.

"_And_ the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer you made out of the toaster, my socks, and 12 ounces of blue cheese?"

Jim finally yelled, "Yes, Dad..."

Tim followed up, "...We put everything up!"

Jim continued, "There's smoke coming out of there!"

Tim finished, "Nothing we have smokes like that!"

James turned to the teens currently staring at him. "Ronald. Kimmie-cub. What happened to our beautiful home?" His eyebrow was twitching wildly now.

Kim and Ron looked at each other, nodded, then back at James. Kim spoke first. "Dad, I think one of my, uh, villains...sorta...kinda...blew the house up." Kim grimaced.

James gritted his teeth and his eyes narrowed. "Was it Drew?"

It was Ron's turn to be embarrassed. "We, uh, we don't really know. Sir."

James sighed. "I see. Kim, Ronald, cover the twins' ears."

At that moment, those standing within the Middleton city limits learned several exciting new curse words, some of them slang words formerly exclusive to rocket science.

Middleton Hospital, Room 121-B, 7:05 AM

Shego could see Kim's house from her room at the hospital. Except now she couldn't. She saw only smoke. She hoped Kim was alright.

Not for any sentimental reasons, of course. She just didn't want the best fighter she ever knew to die in something stupid like an explosion. That was all.

Shego cursed under her breath. The line between her real personality and the persona she'd assumed all those years ago was getting blurrier.

"Problem, Hea- I mean, Shego?" said the guard Betty left her with. There were three more armed guards outside the room.

Unfortunately, the one man left in her room, with her, _alone_, was Agent Will Du, who also happened to be the one man she never wanted to see again as long as she lived. _Sometimes Bets really chaps my ass_, Shego thought.

She put her hand on her forehead and sighed. "No, Will, no problem at all."

"Really? You sure?" Will smiled, looking completely sincere.

Shego knew the smile well, and knew the sincerity was a lie. He'd used it on every girl he'd ever fucked. Oh, she was so getting Betty back for this one.

Shego shot Will a look. She said, "Listen, Spy-boy, you try that shit on me and you'll be introduced to something _so _much more potent than mace. Here's a hint: it rhymes with 'asthma.'"

Will's expression didn't change. "Come on, Heather. Don't be like that."

Shego clenched her teeth and growled. "I'll be however I wanna be around you, Spy-boy. In fact-"

She was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Someone here to see the patient. Says her name is Jenny."

Shego's eyes widened. "...Jenny?" she whispered. Will had never seen Shego look so vulnerable.

"Send her in!" Will yelled. If this could buy him an in with Shego, he was willing to try it.

Jennifer Opton walked into the room.

The two women stared at each other for a full minute. Will felt profoundly uncomfortable.

"...H-Heather?" Jennifer finally choked out.

Shego smiled, grinned even, and, in the softest tone Will had ever heard issue from Shego's mouth, whispered the name again.

"Jenny."

They embraced, tears in their eyes.

Middleton High School, 7:45 AM

After Mr. Dr. Possible's outburst, he had insisted on driving all the kids assembled on his lawn to school. The car ride had been almost completely silent save for Rufus' squeaky attempts to break the ice. He had dropped the teens off, then driven away without a word, presumably to tell his wife the news.

Unfortunately, that was at 7:20, and it was a hot day in Middleton.

Now it was 7:45, and Kim, Ron, Jim, and Tim were all standing outside the locked MHS doors drenched in sweat. Rufus had crawled from Ron's moistened pocket onto his owner's shoulder, but even his nudity was no help against the sun's oppressive rays. The backpacks of the various teens (Ron excluded) drooped off their backs, thereby pinning the entire weight of the accumulated detritus from an entire year of education at Middleton High School on the Possible teens' shoulders. This, along with the uncertainty of their current housing arrangement, caused them to slump. No one felt like talking.

Ron thought he spied Mr. Barkin's '98 Ford Taurus pulling into the parking lot. It was hard to see the exact make of the car through the oppressive, hazy glare. At this point, Ron would've taken Pop Pop Porter's flash freezer over his current environment. At least that was _cold_.

The gait and sheer size of the figure exiting the car clearly identified him as Steve Barkin. Ron had never been more excited to see the school's "permanent substitute." To be fair, he'd never been _at all_ excited to see Mr. Barkin, but that was beside the point.

"Mr. B!" Ron cried, running toward the object of his wail.

Barkin looked up, then slapped his forehead. "...Stoppable? What the hell are you doin' here so _early_? Usually I don't have to barely tolerate your presence till eight."

Ron immediately began jabbering like an eight-year-old. "Kim's house blew up, and her dad took us-"

Barkin was now kneading his forehead in earnest. He held a hand up. "Just... just stop. I-I can't take this before my morning coffee. I'll unlock the damn, I mean, darn door." Barkin walked up to the high school entrance, sighed, and put his key in the lock. "Damn kids and their excuses..." he muttered to himself.

The assorted teens poured into the air-conditioned school and heaved a collective sigh of relief. They immediately scampered off to their respective first period classrooms. It was now Barkin's turn to sigh in relief.

"Christ, I got a headache," said Barkin as he dragged himself to the break room. Caffeine was a harsh mistress, after all.

Middleton Hospital, Staff Break Room, 7:50 AM

Katherine Ann Possible looked at the empty bag of coffee beans and knew it would be a bad day.

She was alone in the Break Room. The room was one of those generic water cooler areas you could go into any office building and see. Grey carpet, beige walls… a symphony of bland. There was also an office bet going on what the fetid smell that haunted it like a ghost's fart. Nevertheless, it was a very popular room, possibly more so than any other in the hospital. The room was a particularly helpful leftover from the days when the Middleton Hospital building was the regional office of a national insurer. Kate couldn't quite remember the


End file.
